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To. Be. Present.

Every year I chose a word to help guide me in the direction in which I wish to grow. The word I chose is often the word that GUIDES me back to my WHY. Why~ I chose that word. Now I've been doing this for long enough to know to be careful for what I choose, for I often receive many chances to practice embodying that word, and I also have realized that the word I choose will help direct/dictate the direction of my next year. My word for 2019 was and still is PRESENT. This year, I knew in my soul this was my word. I knew from my past life experiences that the energy from the word PRESENT is what I wanted to feel in my everday experience moving forward for the rest of my life. And the only way to truly intergate that into my everyday existence was to make it my word. I also knew.... but tried to close my eye to the thought that this word was truly going to push me in uncomfortable ways and in ways I would never foreseee. Yet..... I still chose this word. As we are nearing the end of another beautiful whole year AND a fabulous DECADE.....I do not think I could have picked any other word that could have been so fitting. In reflection of the word I chose: This year I practiced staying present in a new loving and slower paced relationship, (which has been very hard for this triple scorpio who loves deep, intense, and rapid speed when it comes to intimate love). This has looked like not trying to rush ahead, not having HUGE expectations, not planning the future, and honestly practicing the simplicity of one day at a time. I have rather enjoyed this and truly feel it is the best way to go! I have practiced embodying the role of becoming a teacher. By being loving, present, and gentle with myself during the beginning of a new way in my life. How to hold space in a much bigger capacity. And practicing being present in the uniqueness of 6 different learning styles of beautiful souled women. And lastly my largest practice of PRESENCE was almost losing my father to a massive stroke. The energy of presence was and is honestly a godsend in this journey. It happened 5 days before my 38th birthday. Which my birthday was the first day that I went home from the hospital and slept in a non-hospital couch bed next to his life machines. My birthday was the first day he wiggled his left toe. (That was the BEST birthday gift ever!) In this passage of a constant stream of change I have practiced being present by: Being okay with messy, being vulnerable, asking for help, allowing to be held, praying, coming together with my mother and sister, being the communicator to the extended family. Being present with the idea that I may no longer get to talk smack to my dad, or build a generator bed, or talk budgets, or go on long drives to look at homes that I dream about owning. Then remembering to be present in the present and take his journey one day at a time. As I laid in the hospital couch-bed next to him at night, the same line kept weaving through my thoughts as I listened to the multiple sounds that accompany the neuro ICU center. "THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DEATH AND LIFE TRULY IS ONE THING. BREATH. THE ONLY THING DECIDING WHAT COMES BETWEEN THAT BREATH OF LIFE OR DEATH IS...THEIR DESTINY." My father, he chose his destiny in that hospital bed, which in his sense was choosing love. To heal, receive, ask for help, receive help, become humble, not so modest, allow more people than ever to love him, love us more than ever, and to transcend even more karma then ever before in this life plane, and so much more I am sure.... Honestly, I think he just wanted a new deck and bathroom! Which both look great btw! In conclusion, this word has helped me come back to the remembrance of one day at a time, to be present in the moment, and most importantly to be present with myself. I believe with my whole soul that I INTUITIVELY picked the best word ever this year to practice and learn how to embody the energy of that word. And may with ease and grace May Presence be an every part of my coming days. Finding a word for the year can have great or little symbolism in your life...depending on what energy you put into it. As we are nearing the end of a decade, it is a great place to look at a long period of time to see what that decade taught you, where it drove you, and most importantly where you want this last decade to accelerate you forward in the next decade. Maybe you chose a word for next year or a theme word for the decade that helps add in to that energetic intention. Try not to over think it, and maybe allow the word to gentle flow into your mind like a breeze flows thru trees. Gentle. Effortless. Profound. What do you want to embody, add in, or grow into in this next year? Or maybe decade? Have fun, play with this or don't. Be free to be you. Thank you for letting me be present and share my words and a piece of the story of my heart with you. With loving presence, Melissa Windell

Photo Credit: Mark McDade

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