To. Be. Present.

Every year I chose a word to help guide me in the direction in which I wish to grow. The word I chose is often the word that GUIDES me back to my WHY. Why~ I chose that word. Now I've been doing this for long enough to know to be careful for what I choose, for I often receive many chances to practice embodying that word, and I also have realized that the word I choose will help direct/dictate the direction of my next year. My word for 2019 was and still is PRESENT. This year, I knew in my soul this was my word. I knew from my past life experiences that the energy from the word PRESENT is what I wanted to feel in my everday experience moving forward for the rest of my life. And the only way to truly intergate that into my everyday existence was to make it my word. I also knew.... but tried to close my eye to the thought that this word was truly going to push me in uncomfortable ways and in ways I would never foreseee. Yet..... I still chose this word. As we are nearing the end of another beautiful whole year AND a fabulous DECADE.....I do not think I could have picked any other word that could have been so fitting. In reflection of the word I chose: This year I practiced staying present in a new loving and slower paced relationship, (which has been very hard for this triple scorpio who loves deep, intense, and rapid speed when it comes to intimate love). This has looked like not trying to rush ahead, not having HUGE expectations, not planning the future, and honestly practicing the simplicity of one day at a time. I have rather enjoyed this and truly feel it is the best way to go! I have practiced embodying the role of becoming a teacher. By being loving, present, and gentle with myself during the beginning of a new way in my life. How to hold space in a much bigger capacity. And practicing being present in the uniqueness of 6 different learning styles of beautiful souled women. And lastly my largest practice of PRESENCE was almost losing my father to a massive stroke. The energy of presence was and is honestly a godsend in this journey. It happened 5 days before my 38th birthday. Which my birthday was the first day that I went home from the hospital and slept in a non-hospital couch bed next to his life machines. My birthday was the first day he wiggled his left toe. (That was the BEST birthday gift ever!) In this passage of a constant stream of change I ha