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The Best Gift a Father Can Give

It may break one of the most damaging trauma cycles so future generations may heal and evolve

A very wise young man, Max Trombly, once told me something I’ll never forget.

At first, it didn’t make sense to me…

But in hindsight, it makes total sense.

Max shared with me that men have ancient trauma buried in their soul from their lineage of simply being a man in society.

Have you ever thought about that?

If no, I invite you to explore for a moment what men are expected to do in society, even from a young age.

Men are often expected to…

🦌 Hunt animals

🕷️ Kill spiders

🪓 Perform physical labor

Protect us woman from intruders.

…regardless of how they feel about it.

Which is where the issue comes in.

Because feelings are often seen as being weak. And weakness—being the opposite of strength—is then something most men are raised to avoid at all costs.

But the truth is…

True strength is vulnerability.

Here is where it can get confusing.

You see, vulnerability is not the same as weakness.

Far from it.

Vulnerability means having the courage to…

Cry in front of others, or alone

🪢 Create strong emotional bonds with family and friends

📣 Feel and express emotions fully with authenticity

…even if it’s extremely uncomfortable at first.

And it will be uncomfortable at first, like anything new.

But when it comes to healing trauma, Max had some useful insights I hadn’t previously considered.

Max told me to heal the generational trauma passed from men to boys, men and fathers in particular need to let boys be afraid, cry, and say no to things they don’t want to do. In other words…

Let them heal.

The trauma has passed down to them from other men and society. But they don’t have to pass it on to the next generation.

Watching the men in my corner of the world, I’m both hopeful and inspired for future generations. In large part, because…

Brave men and fathers today are slowly cracking the shell for the younger men to be more sensitive, open, vulnerable, and soft.

To be honest…

It feels like a miracle to me. ✨

Allowing young men to cry—like, REALLY cry…

To share their feelings without fear of being seen as weak…

And to actually create strong bonds with family and friends.

These recent changes seem contagious, because not only are these men changing the way they act…

They are also inspiring others to follow suit. It’s truly a beautiful thing to witness.

Have you seen this with the men in your World or are you a man that is changing the World?

For all you men out there...

May your heart continue to soften, open, and heal. And may you feel more love flood into your life than ever before—even in this moment now.

And especially for you fathers…

May you teach your children to have the courage to cry, to express their emotions often, and to speak up when they don’t want to do something, and to save the spiders!

Happy Father’s Day!

Melissa Windell

P.S. To learn about the true nature of strength experientially in a men’s circle with Max Trombly and how to heal your masculine please click here

P.S.S. If you are a father and have a son, or a single mother with a son between the ages of 10 and 14 please look into this man who holds Rites of Passage Retreats for young boys and their fathers. It is a profound and impactful life experience. Plus he is hosting one in Colorado come Sept! His name is Luke Entrup click here to learn more.

P.S.S.S If you know someone who needs to see this message, go ahead and forward it to them now

Image: my father with my daughter many years ago! Happy Fathers Day Dad!

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